Mute millennials; the lost art of conversation. Part 2
We are so content sending message after message to strangers on dating apps, we have lost the confidence to approach strangers in real life. Most people don’t struggle to maintain a conversation; but it can be daunting if you’re concerned the chat might not flow.
Here are the 7 Art of Conversation Tips. When implemented they are a recipe for conversation euphoria!
1. Open with hello.
In real life, you can remove the pressure of your opening line needing to be witty, clever and charming. Say hello and introduce yourself. Just like you would with any other stranger. There’s no need to shower anyone with compliments, use an old fashioned pick up ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’, or embark on some negging. Just be friendly, don’t be cocky and by doing so, you’ll be yourself and you’ll probably get the signals on whether they’re keen to continue the conversation or not.
2. Encourage small talk.
Small talk is the gateway to deeper conversation. This could be anything from what brings them to this particular bar, to what did they think of this week’s episode of Poldark? Listen carefully and wait for opportunities to prove that you were paying attention. Yes, small talk will probably not be the most interesting conversation of your day, but it will be enough to gauge if you might click.
3. Questions are the fuel that keeps the fire going.
Ask questions about something they’ve said previously. Questions can be used to keep a conversation flowing without having to talk about yourself; wait to be asked about yourself before offering it up. It’s ok to a bit mysterious.
4. Be a nice person.
Nice people shouldn’t have to be told to be nice but there is very little room for ‘treat them mean keep them keen’ at this stage. If you play that game 9 times out of 10 you’ll come across arrogant and you’ve lost. Manners cost nothing and go a long way!
5. Let them do the talking.
Keep the focus on them as much as possible; show that you’re interested, even if you aren’t particularly. Asking questions will show them you are interested in them and what they are saying, not just what they look like. Let them ask questions about you but to reiterate, it’s ok to be a bit mysterious.
6. Keep the conversation light and positive.
Now is not the time to start talking about how much you hate your life, your boss and the fact that you have never been out of your overdraft. Positive people tend to attract and gravitate to towards other positive people (the Law of Attraction; to be discussed in another post). Don’t be afraid to use humour to lighten the mood. Self-deprecating humour is always a positive and can be very endearing. Just be careful not to slate yourself to the point of no return!
7. Enjoy it and have fun….what’s the worst that can happen?
These tips can be applied in any situation; the world is your oyster. Practice makes perfect and the more at ease you are with approaching and talking to complete strangers the more fun you are going to have with it. Single people don’t spend time and effort getting ready to go out in the hope that they are going to be ignored. That’s worth keeping in the back of your mind!Worst case scenario, they drop in that they‘re in a relationship or imply they’re not interested by offering little back to the conversation. If that’s the case, you’ve probably saved yourself a night of buying rounds of drinks you can’t afford, and can focus your time and energy elsewhere.
Luckily Honeypot conducts half the battle for you by enabling you to see who’s single before making the first move.
“The application of the ‘Art of Conversation Rules’ and the upper hand thatHoneypot 🍯 gives users is an UNBEATABLE formula!’
Weekly challenge: At some point this week, if catch eyes with someone you’re interested in, count to three and go and say hello. If you implement the ‘Art of Conversation Rules’ we guarantee that at worst you would have killed 5 minutes with adrenaline fuelled, butterflies going mad excitement which although didn’t lead to date has made you that little bit better at approaching strangers. At best, you’ve got their number and are going to arrange a meet up for later that week!
Blog to come: How to set the conditions for success when approaching a stranger.